motherhood09

Abigaile

2010-06-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

2.5 years old, She is an amazing little bugger i tell you what. She amazes me everyday. She is now fully potty trained and has been for the past several month. We have been having a little problems this week. she is like refusing to tell me when she needs to go potty. This happened right after she went to daycare a couple weeks ago. I don't know if something happened there or what but were slowly fixing that problem. It's just taking some time.
She knows her ABC's she can say and idtenify them all. She is also learning what each letter sounds like. She knows most of them already too. Before i know it this little girl is going to be reading.

Time for the love. :)

2010-03-05T17:48:00.001-08:00

so i finally filed for a new Divorce in Utah. I really hope things go smooth. The past while i have been so stressed out its not even funny.
I think im finally getting over all the stuff that happened in the marriage and realizing its not men all around that do that. Many guys yes but not all. So why was I sitting here blaming all the guys for one guys mess ups??
Because that is just how my brain works i guess. I know now after everything that has happened i have changed as a person. I have been to some councilling. I LOVE IT!! It makes me feel happy. I can go and talk to this lady and she helps me. She even asks me if i have been talking to some guys and just the way she talks to me makes me look forward to go see her. She has helped me alot. She very blunt and says things the way they need to be said. She is very possitive and helps or trys her best to help you with whatever you need help with. She is honestly worth the money if i have it.
ANYWAYS
So i am now getting the urge to finally want to talk to guys/men again and get to know some. Before i wanted nothing to do with them because of one i hated all...but im so glad i did...i have talked to several guys this week....and i have found some great friends, and work is alot funner too because i am starting to talk to several people. When people look at me in a certain way or say something i don't think as negative like i use to...its like i don't care and i go with the flow. i ignore all the funny looks and what not...i even talk to alot of the people that look at me funny haha. I don't really judge peole by there looks anymore. because they can look rude or too good to talk to me or something but that is so not the case. I love work haha....I hope they hire me on full time so that i can get on full time so i can possibly get a car...im doing my best expanding my work ability there so i honestly don't see why they wouldn't do so.....i lack in some departments, and i think its time to pray for some help to help me become stronger in my weaker areas. wish me luck..
i have two more classes to do before i FINALLY get my diploma. im so excited...then im going to see what i can do about college...
MAN I WANNA GO ON A DATE SO FLIPPING BAD UGH.....hurry up divorce and get over with so i can flirt and start dating....................Im going to the gym now too so wish me luck there...its time to lose the 50 pounds i have gained.

Time for the love. :

2010-03-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

Abigaile is now two.

2010-01-29T22:57:00.000-08:00

Abigaile is now two, i can't believe it. It only seems like yesterday when i was bringing her home from the hospital. Makes me baby hungry. but i have told my self i have to get my schooling done first. its hard enough working a full time job, going to school and still being a mother let alone have more. Not that it can't be done but any who, I got Abby to start saying she's two when i ask her how old she is...she will say two then she will start counting her fingers. I love being a mother words can't describe how wonderful it is to be able to see the world through there eye's.
Living here with my father, dealing with this whole divorce issue and everything else in life is pretty darn stress full .... ugh.... I'm hoping to get hired on full time here at my current job or getting hired at this new company south a little bit and hope i can get out on my own get this diploma before that and get started with college. Finally do what i should have done 2 years ago. well almost 3. I could be finishing up with my college now and working. but the only difference is i know what i want to be now and didn't then....i even want to specialize in a few things later on to hopefully make more hehe
Any ways, Im trying to potty train this little girl and as long as she is with me and at day care she does GREAT but when she stays home she doesn't do so great till i get home, its kinda frustrating. but its all good it will happen when she's ready.

Christmas and turning 2

2010-01-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

So here i am sitting in Missouri at my mothers. Christmas morning and i notice i forgot my camera, but i remember the charger..haha. GREAT i know. We had a good Christmas. with the cousins...It's amazing how miss little Abigaile has changed from last christmas. She went from 2008 to being able to just open them to now nearly 2 knowing what everything was to what it was and that santa so on and so forth.

We got her 2 year pictures done she was so good. hyper and all..ran out of the photo place a couple times and had to be chased down. We got some cute photo's even thought the lady wasn't the best.

this last one is one of my favorites..:D

Im so proud of this little girl...she talks GREAT...knows how to count to 15 and knows her ABC's its awesome...and much much more. but im still with family and don't have much time to sit here on the computer. so enjoy ttyl

Potty training.

2009-12-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

So one day i was in the bathroom doing my hair when all of a sudden i hear some grunting...i was like what is that....
When i turned around there Abigaile sat with her pants to her ankles going potty....i was like there's my sign..so we have been Potty training this week and its been going really good.. She's only messed up a total of 5 times this whole week...and the past couple days she has been waking in the morning with dry diaper..yay :D im loving this except for the fact i have 2 boxes of unused diapers haha...guess they will last me the rest of the year plus half of the next. maybe.
I've lost five pounds....now i just hope i don't find it.

The love of my life!!

2009-11-10T19:09:00.001-08:00

copying val
I have been so much in my short life span, i can't believe it all.
My marriage wasn't the easy one and still isn't..this separation is really tough, there are so many times where i just want to give up on life and just be a bum. I honestly wonder how i still have the lil self esteem i have left...i shouldn't have any. Not many if non of you know of everything that has happened in the past 2 years. But i have got the most ADORABLE daughter out of the whole thing.

I couldn't get these in order but o well i got them in a row like i wanted....
I am so thank full for my lil girl Abigaile she is an amazing daughter...every time im down she knows and makes me laugh or smile...here laugh is is like a cold you can't help but laugh when she laughs its so cute..
there have been times where i am just in tears and i mean tears...and she has come up to me and gave me a hug patted me on the back and asked me if i was ok...and just sat there hugging me...and the looks she gives me just makes you smile...
She has become one of the smartest one year old i have ever met. I was so scared for awhile there she was behind but it was normal but now i think she's ahead...just coming home and seeing new things she has picked up on or her watching me do something and seeing her do it just shocks me....
She has amazed me when i asked her one day what some letters were and she responded with the correct answer and if it wasn't correct i asked her again and she told me the right answer...its just truly amazing i love it...she's my reason for living....i look forward to going to work just so i can come home and see her face and happiness just to see me and spend time with me and all the hugs and kisses i get..I am so thank full that i have been blessed with such a wonderful daughter...she is just amazing. I just love being a mother..she makes me want to go to school and succeed, its so much time away from her now but im hoping she will look up to me later in life for doing everything i am doing now..and i hope i can be a good role model for her...its hard being a single mother but i love it all at the same time :D anyways i could go on forever but ill stop there...im so grateful for Abigaile i can't imagine life with out her.

AMAZING 1 YEAR OLD!!

2009-11-08T18:07:00.000-08:00

I am AMAZED wit Abigaile, She's not even 2 she can count to 5 and the when i say 9 she'll say 10...
She can recognize all the letters in the alphabet (as long as there all capitalized) Q is the only one she gets mixed up on sometimes cause she thinks its an O , o ya and Z looks like an S but i say no what is that then she usually gets it...im so proud of her :D there are so many other things she has learned its amazing....She also loves Vit. C's there her favorite. and she usually knows what she wants for breakfast..(eggs, toast, cereal or yogurt with cereal..) and lunch is usually noodles and cheese or hamburger and fry's.
And at dinner time She calls everyone for dinner (yells for them) then when we finally sit down and someone is still missing then she calls for them and says Dinner eat now...ahh man i love it..
and i just started working YAY finally i love it...when i get home Abigaile acts as if she hasn't seen me in days, i love it. Well i better get off and get the bath done with and get this lil one to bed so i can wake up for work :D

Christmas Challenge

2009-10-30T19:45:00.000-07:00

HEY JUST TO LET Y'ALL NOW I HAVE STARTED FILMING ON YOUTUBE for a christmas challenge if ya want to watch just search for hnybr89
wish me luck:o)

starting again!!

2009-10-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

so, a couple weeks ago i started potty training Abigaile, it was going good we had one day where i didn't have to change a diaper it was GREAT!! then she got sick and it just wasn't a good time..
So she is now better and well and i will be starting Thursday night for potty training once again. i hope it goes well :D.

update coming soon

2009-10-20T22:59:00.001-07:00

so i think it's about time to update this darn blog.....tomorrow i will try to do so...
i've been busy..school, trying to get a job...doctor visits trying to get flu shots for the lil having her get sick, cause for some reason someone is always getting sick in this house. i have been super lucky be the only one that hasn't not done so...the worst i got was a stuffy nose for a day :D yay me...
everyday its like i hear about someone else getting the H1N1 flu..starting to scare me cause i know alot of them. and i have heard of 2 deaths. that i know...its freakin awful but i guess they say things are just going to get worse before they ever get better.
I sure hope Abigaile gets better soon so i can get her the shot and take her trick or treating...I JUST CAN'T WAIT ITS GOING TO BE SO FUN:D maybe ill dress up too...i gotta start looking this friday for costumes...im a lil late. :D

2009-09-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

sorry this isn't a super exciting update, but i have just been thinking about everything that has happened in the past month and even year and a half. ~~ most of you all know that i have been extremely inactive in the church, for the past 2 years or so. Well i have thinking about getting back into it! i always wanted to get married in the San Diego temple....and i feel that a temple marriage may have a better chance of working out than the one i had before. its what i have wanted for a long time. if feels weird going to church again but good. i don't have a skirt yet and its kinda cool when i go and people see me in pants and there alot nicer...at least the ones i don't know its kinda cool!!
Anyways Abigaile is doing GREAT..we found out she is allergic to mosquitoes...thank goodness for benydril :D no more river walks or late night runs in the yard.
today i went up to slc and hung out with some old friends and Abigaile had a blast on the tramp and the swing set and there pumkins...she got pretty scratched up and dirty and covered in mud but she had a blast...and dang me i always forget the camera hopefully someday ill remember!

shouldn't be posting this!!

2009-08-30T17:26:00.000-07:00

I guess i shouldn't be posting things like this but ya know i just feel so much better after typing it all out, even though it may not all make sense!
Well i am settled in Utah for the most part im actually pretty excited i can now start my dream, and not be held back. I was being controlled wasn't really able to do much, never had the opportunity's but never could take them. I felt like i had to go behind my husbands back just to do some school which isn't right ... anyways Abigaile has been pretty fussy lately i don't know what it is, maybe more teeth i hope she doesn't have an ear infection. i've been trying to take it easy here for a lil while but things ares till pretty hectic. i haven't really had the motivation to unpack but i did go get a job app and handed that in today. it won't be much but im also hoping i can get my GED and get into college next semester try to get some classes around some friends so i can have a ride there haha....i still need to find a baby sitter. It feels so good being back yet it sucks, i won't be here for ever though!
o but i did get the divorce papers all done and filed will see how this all go/s

mixed emotions..

2009-08-21T04:43:00.000-07:00

im sad that all this is happening i really am, but so be it i guess i have done my part and i guess thats all i can do...i have to walk away saying that i tried, i tried...i can always hope for the best but...i know can start now for a better future i can't start over but i can start a new future for myself with what i will have....i will be now leaving my goals and dreams i first started with....this hurts im not going to lie it hurts....but anyways i leave monday i will miss everyone in va. i hope we all can keep in touch!!

family changes..

2009-08-20T06:49:00.001-07:00

i know i shouldn't be writing about this on here but o well i guess i need to talk about it or at least write it down...well worst has come to worst as of right now....my husband and i are separating for the moment hopefully in the end we can end up back together to safe a crap load of head aches later in life....when my parents got divorced i was old enough to see some of the things...and i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy in a way ya know?
but yet here i am almost doing it to my own daughter...its a crappy feeling....im surprised at myself....i usually eat when im all ticked off and stressed and such but i haven't eatin much at all...the thought of food just basically just about makes me gag....last night i had to force myself to drink some water...even though it felt like it was going to come back up in a matter of seconds...but don't worry i have been forcing my self to eat some stuff just to keep me going...its mostly fruit which is a good thing but doesn't do much cause it digests so fast...
please keep us in your prayers i really want this to work out..but my husband and i didn't really get married for all the right reasons, and have been going through alot of stress were both very very young specially me.....i want to beat the odds of 60% of all teen marriages end ..... i want to beat the odds...and even worse 1 in 2 marriages dont last.....i have alot to think about and strive to acheive in this short matter of time of this seperation and hope like hell it works out...if not at least i will know i have done my best. well anyways there is my story there is so much more to it of course but no reason to get into details...

....blank...

2009-08-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have totally forgot that this even existed anymore, matt went away for about a month for work...and Abigaile started banging her head when while she was sleeping the first few days!
now he's home and everytime he leaves the room she screams...i think she's afraid he's going to leave her again....
and every night she has done the same thing...and naps are not happpening anymore...
so matt changed crib into a toddler bed...she loved it..s.he was bouncing on and laying it for an hour...and she usually screamed when we put her in bed if she didn't want too or got her milk...love it...i honestly feel like i don't have a baby anymore!
last night after we changed her bed she i kept asking her if she wanted to go nigh nigh and usually she says it back and asks for her milk and goes and sitts in the rocking chair in her room....but last night she was telling no...elmo..no elmo..she wanted to watch elmo instead of going to bed...she's growing up and learning what she wants and what she doesn't wants and is making sure we know it too!
she's getting BIG!!

not a good week!!

2009-07-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

so on Tuesday Abigaile had a fever of 103.8...i gave her a cold bath and some Tylenol..and it went down to 99..and then she fell asleep..and seemed to be fine the wrest of the day!
Wednesday came and she was fine in the morning but i gave her some Tylenol just to make sure it wouldn't go up while we were out grocery shopping. She was fine while we were in Newport News her happy talkative self. once we got to LAFB she started acting strange and tired...and horrible!
she felt a little warm but not too bad...and then she leaned on me while i was pushing the cart and she fell asleep and i just went with it and kept pushing and trying my best to get what i needed without waking her up. but she started getting warmer and warmer...like it was literally on fire..thank goodness the hospital was a block away... i left my cart there and grabbed her and left...when i got to the hospital...they needed my ID i didn't have..i lost it at the store...GREAT!! so i had to run back get my ID and Abigaile shoe that she lost....run back so on and so forth...she had a temp..of 104.7...i started freaking out just because matt isn't here. and i hate doing things like going to the hospital by myself when she's sick. they gave her moltrin right away of course and it was kinda nice cause i was able to skip ahead of 4 people haha! but anyways.....
they did a test for the flu and tossill whatever...negative..so they did a x-ray for pnemonia and sure enough she had a slight sign of it...thank goodness i caught it early...she is on antibiotics and gets a check up tomorrow...her fever has already gone down and doesn't need Tylenol and molrin as much! ...... the whole time she was screaming during the x-ray and the test for the flu and tonsils...she was crying for her daddy...i couldn't help myself and started to cry...i felt horrible the person she wanted to be there to comfort her wasn't able to be there..and she doesn't understand why, it honestly makes it hard specially when she's a daddy's girl.
BUT she's doing fine now and getting more teeth so fussy as well...and ya know...but she stil is determinded to be happy everytime she crys she trys to laugh...poor thing!!...but i took her swimming and everything went away she had a BLAST!!
anyways hoping the have a GREAT weekend!

random moment!!

2009-06-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

so, Matt went on so called "under way" all there doing is sitting at the pier..honestly i think its pointless...but so does several other people!! this will last 2 weeks..now this isn't the first time he has gone away for awhile...Matt also got sent away for 4 months about 2-3 months after Abigaile was born..then he was home for a week and got sent out again for a few more months then again a month after that!! Abigaile did fine, she was still young..she's still young but as i dropped Matt off everything was fine but when i drove off without her daddy in the car she started calling him and i told her he had to go to work and will be home Friday before he has to go back..she started crying....i honestly hope that she will be able to understand when she gets older instead of blaming herself when he isn't here!!
but we went to a few pet stores and she played with the puppys and had a blast.
i don't know the purpose of this post but here it is anyways..my mother is also coming to visit later this week and im excited im sure Abigaile will love it too:D

She HATES clothes...and as soon as i get them on her there right off inless we go somewhere she's good about keeping them on....she also figured how to take her diaper off and she's a pro at it...potty training has been introduced and she does good when she remember to tell me she has to go...but as for now she's pretty darn good at coming and telling me after she already went in her diaper...but she's learning...and starting to actually sing its the cutest thing ever...love it!!

a little this and that!!

2009-05-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

She's unstoppable when it comes to climbing!
She loves socks and shoes, she brought me theses and insisted i put them on her!

She finally brought me the right shoe!

trying to unlock the door with her keys!

vocab..

2009-05-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

Abigaile has been expanding her vocabulary, we tried to learn some color's the other day and well she got blue and yellow down and blue is now one of her favorite words...she can say the following.
Duck, Elmo(mel-moe), baby, puppy, hi, hello, where's blue?, no, dodger, bye bye, yogurt(gogee), jucie, daddy and mommy of course, bird, fish, bath, abby, teeth, ouch, uh-oh, shoe, socks, fish, bear, thank you!! which she uses for just about anything, she wants something she says thank you instead of please but were working on the please. she understands several command just doesn't always follow through but thats to be expected. She has come to love helping me put the food away after shopping, she brings me a new bag evertime we empty one, she even puts her own juice and snacks away as long as she's not hungry!
O ya and all done and she signs it too, she know's where her hair, teeth, eye's, nose, tongue, ears, cheeks, belly/button, knees and feet are. were working on her hands fingers and toes..
She's growing up so fast, makes me want another somedays!!

Busch Gardens!!

2009-05-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

So my husband told me to ask a few people if they wanted to hang out this past Saturday everyone was busy of course, so i guess we were headed to the mall alone. I wasn't really paying any attention until we were 3 exits past the one we were suppose to get off, but i didn't say anything at first, but matt just kept going. I asked him where he was going, and like always he wouldn't tell me.
So i just enjoyed the ride, we ended up going to busch gardens and using are 1 free visit. We weren't exactly prepared for it cause it was just a spur of the moment kinda thing! but everything worked out in the end, they had a new elmo section for kids it was pretty cool Abigaile had a blast, matt and i took turns riding the rides one by one THANK GOODNESS the lines weren't really long! it was nice to get away and ride some rides, its been 3 years sense i've done anything like that.
We also found out were moving to San Diego, I can't wait..ill hopefully go back to work then part time so we can afford to do all the fun exciting things that it offers. and ill be closer to my family yay!!

we also took Abigaile to the beach it was pretty fun!!

adventures in May!!

2009-05-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

So i decided to take Abigaile to the Blue Bird Gap Farm here in Hampton we had a blast, Abigaile was sticking her fingers in the fence and saying bird, as i got the camera out to take a picture i looked back at Abigaile and the turkey was trying to eat Abigaile's finger and she started screaming at it, i wish i had recorded it!
She loved the fact she was able to run free with no stroller and didn't have to constantly hold my hand, she loved the deer, cows, horses ducks specially the ducks for some reason!!
here are some pictures

She refused to look at me in any of the pictures!!

It was also the first time for her to be in a swing, she LOVED it!!

NEWS!

2009-04-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

SO as of right now were suppose to be getting ready to move to San Diego, in Feb. i know its like a year away, but we have no idea if were going to be going or not because 5 people in the office if not more get off the ship as soon as it gets there, which make no sense to my why they just don't allow people to transfer NOW! but i guess im not aloud to say more than that.
but my husband and i are trying to get sent to Italy or something which i personally think that would be AWESOME in a way..but that means we would be there for about 3 years and so im not sure.
Hopefully we will know soon.

EASTER!

2009-04-17T11:44:00.000-07:00

so we had easter baskets on saturday instead of sunday ( i know this is late), because matt had duty on sunday and wouldn't be here. I think this is the last year that will work.
Abigaile decided to hide the camer so i didn't get any pictures of her basket and i was bumbed but i did get some of her the next day.

so i got the stuff to color eggs and what not but umm....i totally forgot the eggs. haha...but im sure Abigaile wasn't too disappointed.

a little catching up...

2009-03-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

HELLO,
so i have had this account forever...but i just haven't taken the time to write in it...so i have missed alot...
Abigaile has grown so much its not even funny...i think back to about a year ago..and she was just learning to roll over and now she's running like crazy..so much when we tell her to come here she takes off the other way..she has sat in time out twice ya her favorite thing is NOT listening what so ever..it is kinda cute at the moment but its not good for later on or when she really does need to listen..
She went from being an extremely lazy eater and doing nothing but sleeping to eating like crazy..but she's more into snacks than meals..its like she snacks all day long....and she does not want to sleep much anymore..were down to 2 nap a day and that's usually between 2-4
she is speaking VERY well...she loves to talk on the phone..she hasn't said much yet i think she is still amused that there is actually someone talking to her:
she says the following:
Dodger (dodgy), kitty, juice, puppy, mommy ma ma(but she never calls me that or says it to me..), daddy, dada(which she will call him that and call for him), fishy, bye bye, hi, go, shoes, yogurt, cookies, nie nie, uhh oh(when she drops something and can't get it...or knows she wasn't suppose to), no, ya, baby(which is her favorite of all), daisy, thank you(were working on please and your welcome but still doesn't get it and just says thank you(tay-too) but its getting clearer and clearer to under stand. she can sign all done. and more.
i will add she is getting an attitude that is for sure...when i tell her now and close the pantry or something she'll sit down and whine and whine..ya woo...
her hair is now long enough to put in pig tails its the cutest thing in the world

*************************************************************************************

Abigaile Rose...
came into this world 5 weeks early.
Jan, 2nd 2008
weighing in at 5lbs. 2 oz.
measuring 18in long
and being at 5%
she ended up stayin in the hospital for 2 weeks..for under developed lungs
first thought was embarrassing-
"that would have been nothing to push out, she's tiny, and the cutest thing ihave ever seen"
haha

Abigaile rose
is now 1 year
Jan. 2nd, 2009
weighting 19.5 pounds
28 inches long
she has changed so much
and gets better looking EVERYDAY!!
she started walking Jan 3rd 2009 even though
i know she could have done it sooner..
and she's at about 50%
this year has been fun..and challenging im looking forward to many more to come!! and hopefully a brother and sister will most likely be coming aobut 9 months after her 2nd birthday.